Dealing with Offense

What do you do when someone offends you? And I don’t just mean a superficial offense, such as cutting you off on the freeway, or failing to hold the door open for you on your way into the office. I mean real offense like betrayal, lack of appreciation, or belittlement. Even after you’ve thought about it and allowed your emotions to settle, you are still bothered by it. You may have even talked it over with someone you trust and consider to be wiser than you. And even that person acknowledges your right to be offended. They urge you to talk to the person about it. After all, communication is key. How will they ever know that they’ve offended you if you don’t communicate that to them? You consider a rational conversation with the person, in which you both will remain calm while maintaining honesty. You are confident that you will make your concerns known, and your offender will be convicted and vow to change. You rehearse the script in your head- how you will say things, how the other person would/should respond (funny how the other person never sticks to your version of the script). You are confident that this is what you should do, right? Wrong.

Before you resort to what many view as healthy confrontation, I urge you to pray about it (1 Thess 5:17). All adults have encountered some pretty deep offense at some point in our lives. The bible tells us that trials come to make us strong (James 1:2-8). This may be an instance for you to grow as a person. Seeking the Lord for strength is an act of faith, showing that you trust God to work out the situation. What a relief it is to know that your issue can be resolved without you having to have a single conversation with the offender! The higher you go in your walk with Christ, in your relationships, in your career, and in your life- you will encounter various types of people, attitudes, and beliefs. God has a desire to elevate us according to his plan (Jeremiah 29:11). It is in our best interest to show that we trust God first when dealing with people. It is best to pray earnestly for the person who has offended you. Put your trust in God, and ask that he soften the person’s heart, and lead them to a place of understanding. You will be blessed by this. It may not always be about the other person. The issue may be you. Whether it is a need for you to strengthen your prayer life, a need for you to strengthen your faith, a need to strengthen your leadership and/or submission- God will never leave you hanging. Trust him with your offenses.