Visionary

"What’s the problem with always seeing the big picture", you ask? Let me explain. I am a visionary. I can dreamcast the most beautiful, colorful, detailed plan or event. I can write it down and make it plain. Coming up with a plan has never been my weakenss. However, when it comes to executing the plan, I seem to fall short. Consistency is my struggle. I can admit it. I recently completed grad school, and have so many plans and expectations for my career. I am feverishly coming up with post graduate plans to take my career to the next level. Completing my degree has finally opened the door to that corporate job that I have dreamed about- so I thought. I’ve picked out my office decor on pinterest. I have already allocated what I am going to do with the extra money I will be making after my promotion. I’m even parusing German car websites (which will remain nameless) for my dream car that I just KNOW I will have in the next couple years. All that is great, but there is one missing piece: How faithful have I been over the things that I already have? Am I expecting promotion based on merits that I have not yet achieved? The bible says that if we are faithful over a few things that God gives us, he will put us in charge of more things (Matthew 25:23). It’s nice to have an idea of what you want and where you want to be. However, I need to remember that there is also a process that comes with a plan. Ditching the process is not an option if I want all that God has for me. Instead of working so hard on manifesting my vision, I should spend more time perfecting what he has already been gracious enough to give me. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with grinding to get to the next level. But know that our expectations and “visions" don’t always happen over night. Patience, consistency, and faithfulness all play a role.

On another note, I have opened my heart to completely believing and trusting in God and his promises. I know now that it is not about my power, but about the spirit of God that causes me to be victorious!(Zechariah 4:6) God is gracious enough to do what he said he would to (Isaiah 55:11) if I only believe! I believe him, I trust him, he WILL move on my behalf.

So fresh & so clean!

Since I stayed in town over the long holiday weekend (tears), I decided to deep clean my apartment in phases. I cleaned out my coat closet, spare bedroom, my bedroom, and my bedroom closet over the course of 4 days. I threw about 15 bags of trash away, gave away 5 bags of clothes, and 3 bags of shoes. This is the most de-cluttered my living space has been in years, and boy do I feel accomplished! I believe that a clear space perpetuates a clear mind. If you want to see how someone is doing mentally, just look at the space they surround themselves with- it’s very telling. Getting rid of all the useless clutter and junk in my apartment has me feeling like I finally have the space and clarity to do things I’ve been wanting to do (like re-decorate, for example). But even more than that, I can’t help but feel like this whole experience was symbolic of the place at which I am in my life. “Out with the old, in with the new!"