Visionary

"What’s the problem with always seeing the big picture", you ask? Let me explain. I am a visionary. I can dreamcast the most beautiful, colorful, detailed plan or event. I can write it down and make it plain. Coming up with a plan has never been my weakenss. However, when it comes to executing the plan, I seem to fall short. Consistency is my struggle. I can admit it. I recently completed grad school, and have so many plans and expectations for my career. I am feverishly coming up with post graduate plans to take my career to the next level. Completing my degree has finally opened the door to that corporate job that I have dreamed about- so I thought. I’ve picked out my office decor on pinterest. I have already allocated what I am going to do with the extra money I will be making after my promotion. I’m even parusing German car websites (which will remain nameless) for my dream car that I just KNOW I will have in the next couple years. All that is great, but there is one missing piece: How faithful have I been over the things that I already have? Am I expecting promotion based on merits that I have not yet achieved? The bible says that if we are faithful over a few things that God gives us, he will put us in charge of more things (Matthew 25:23). It’s nice to have an idea of what you want and where you want to be. However, I need to remember that there is also a process that comes with a plan. Ditching the process is not an option if I want all that God has for me. Instead of working so hard on manifesting my vision, I should spend more time perfecting what he has already been gracious enough to give me. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with grinding to get to the next level. But know that our expectations and “visions" don’t always happen over night. Patience, consistency, and faithfulness all play a role.

On another note, I have opened my heart to completely believing and trusting in God and his promises. I know now that it is not about my power, but about the spirit of God that causes me to be victorious!(Zechariah 4:6) God is gracious enough to do what he said he would to (Isaiah 55:11) if I only believe! I believe him, I trust him, he WILL move on my behalf.

So fresh & so clean!

Since I stayed in town over the long holiday weekend (tears), I decided to deep clean my apartment in phases. I cleaned out my coat closet, spare bedroom, my bedroom, and my bedroom closet over the course of 4 days. I threw about 15 bags of trash away, gave away 5 bags of clothes, and 3 bags of shoes. This is the most de-cluttered my living space has been in years, and boy do I feel accomplished! I believe that a clear space perpetuates a clear mind. If you want to see how someone is doing mentally, just look at the space they surround themselves with- it’s very telling. Getting rid of all the useless clutter and junk in my apartment has me feeling like I finally have the space and clarity to do things I’ve been wanting to do (like re-decorate, for example). But even more than that, I can’t help but feel like this whole experience was symbolic of the place at which I am in my life. “Out with the old, in with the new!"

Unfaithful People

Unfaithful People

Repost from Heather L Lindsey

"The Perfect Woman"

"The Perfect Woman"

Repost from Heather L Lindsey

Think. Then Speak.

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness" Proverbs 15:1-2

What are the intentions of what you say? The bible says that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So if the words out of your mouth are creating a tumultuous environment, chances are there is turmoil in your heart (Luke 6:45). The bible gives us very clear instructions on communication, with the primary focus being LISTENING. Make sure you are thinking before you speak. Once words leave the mouth, you cannot take them back!

Proverbs 23:9 Do not speak to fools, for they will scorn your prudent words.

Proverbs 17:28 Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they should hold their tongues.

Proverbs 29:20 Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Lydia Seale

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Selfishness versus Sacrifice

In this day and age, it seems like everything is magically conformed to convenience. How many times have you had a thought like, "They should just handle it this way...it would be easier." and magically, as if your brain were in tune with the universe, the update is made and you are now living in the reality of the brilliant idea you had just days ago. Whether it's movie tickets, bank statements, take-out orders, etc- everything is designed to be most convenient for you. This cultural norm is accelerating more rapidly than ever before. With the technology and information revolution at hand, updates and upgrades are a given in virtually any capacity.

While this is ideal for all of us, it has in many ways spoiled us into thinking of sacrifice as a thing of the past. Some of the most important decisions in our lives are based on sacrifice. The most important being the choice you make to receive Christ as your Lord and savior. Acceptance is the first step. As you begin to grow and walk with him, you realize that this commitment takes sacrifice. There may be times where you come to a place of discomfort with the decision you make to be a doer of his word. In Romans 12:1 Paul, in view of God's mercy, urges the offering of our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God as true and proper worship. Worshipping God with the way you live your life requires sacrifice. It requires commitment. If we were the type of people who defer to the most convenient and self serving way to do things, we would begin to place our walk with Christ in a capacity that is most convenient for us. Jesus told his disciples that whoever wants to be his disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow him. Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for him will find it (Mark 16:24-25).

Sacrifice and commitment are two very important components in the overall structure of our existence- as believers, and in all other facets. Do not allow yourself to be so far removed from commitment and sacrifice that it hinders your ability to do what the Lord has called you to do.

Dealing with Offense

What do you do when someone offends you? And I don’t just mean a superficial offense, such as cutting you off on the freeway, or failing to hold the door open for you on your way into the office. I mean real offense like betrayal, lack of appreciation, or belittlement. Even after you’ve thought about it and allowed your emotions to settle, you are still bothered by it. You may have even talked it over with someone you trust and consider to be wiser than you. And even that person acknowledges your right to be offended. They urge you to talk to the person about it. After all, communication is key. How will they ever know that they’ve offended you if you don’t communicate that to them? You consider a rational conversation with the person, in which you both will remain calm while maintaining honesty. You are confident that you will make your concerns known, and your offender will be convicted and vow to change. You rehearse the script in your head- how you will say things, how the other person would/should respond (funny how the other person never sticks to your version of the script). You are confident that this is what you should do, right? Wrong.

Before you resort to what many view as healthy confrontation, I urge you to pray about it (1 Thess 5:17). All adults have encountered some pretty deep offense at some point in our lives. The bible tells us that trials come to make us strong (James 1:2-8). This may be an instance for you to grow as a person. Seeking the Lord for strength is an act of faith, showing that you trust God to work out the situation. What a relief it is to know that your issue can be resolved without you having to have a single conversation with the offender! The higher you go in your walk with Christ, in your relationships, in your career, and in your life- you will encounter various types of people, attitudes, and beliefs. God has a desire to elevate us according to his plan (Jeremiah 29:11). It is in our best interest to show that we trust God first when dealing with people. It is best to pray earnestly for the person who has offended you. Put your trust in God, and ask that he soften the person’s heart, and lead them to a place of understanding. You will be blessed by this. It may not always be about the other person. The issue may be you. Whether it is a need for you to strengthen your prayer life, a need for you to strengthen your faith, a need to strengthen your leadership and/or submission- God will never leave you hanging. Trust him with your offenses.

"Your Price Tag"

"Your Price Tag"

http://youtu.be/YM8hxE-j4T8

Peace in the midst of my dirt

I remember being lost. I remember feeling emptiness inside. I remember the lack of God in my life. I used to date (and I use that term loosely) a drug dealer. I remember walking into his house and immediately feeling the presence of evil. It was hard for me to identify then. But now I realize it was the lack of the Holy Spirit. For as long as I can remember, I have always felt the enormous presence of God. I have lived alone for almost 10 years. I have never been scared (well, you know- I have had a few episodes after watching a movie or something like that). But I’ve literally had people tell me that they don’t see how I can live alone. Grown men have told me that. And they were strictly talking about the fear aspect. Not so much about the lonely aspect. But anyways, I have always felt God in me and with me. The closest thing I can compare it to is a puppy that moves each and every time you even LOOK like you’re about to move. It follows you everywhere- into the kitchen, the bathroom, the window, the door. You can’t get rid of him. That’s how I’ve ALWAYS felt about the presence of God in my life. So when I was in those situations that God wasn’t in- I felt his absence. I remember being out there. I remember the first time I saw someone do a line of cocaine. I remember rolling with alcoholics. I remember being around people who asked the guy I was with if he had any needles. I remember seeing a prostitute walk up and down the street in literally a white t-shirt that she made into a dress, and some heels. I remember the first time I saw a gun. Man I used to hang with some BUMS lol. I remember seeing someone cook crack for the first time. I remember being around people who went on coke binges for days straight. Hit the club on Friday night and be toasted until Sunday morning. I’m talking about an after party that lasted from after the club on Friday, THROUGH SaturDAY, and then back to the club on Saturday night. I remember being made fun of because I had a regular job. I remember being cheated on. Humiliated. Embarrassed. I remember people purposely trying to break me down. Break my spirit. Take my pride. Take my comfort and my peace. So many people didn’t understand my peace. I mean, I really didn’t either. Now that I can see things more clearly in the spiritual realm, I realize that all of that was a plot by the enemy to destroy me. The enemy’s mission is to destroy. The God in me would not allow that to happen. I thought I had it all figured out. Lol. What an idiot. I see so many people trying to school other people, as if they’ve arrived. Neglecting to give God glory for what they have. Whether it be material (which means nothing) or otherwise. They are so lost and don’t even realize it. I say that in terms of identifying myself in the same way. That’s why I can give God credit for everything. Because I know I am a hot mess. And God still blesses me. Still loves me. Still forgives me. I think others’ perception of me is so far off from what I really am. I’m not a diva. I’m a dirty bird. I’m a wretch (in 2012 terms- I’m a rat). Yes, I am. I’ve sought self worth and peace in all of the places that everyone does. Men, money, clothes, image…then I tweaked it and tried to make it about my career, my education, my life experiences. Those don’t mean anything either. If God can send Jesus- through a virgin and a carpenter, surely your prestige means nothing to him. Please excuse the tears that roll down my face when I think about the fact that I should be dead. Or even worse- I should be dying. A painful death. I should have had to put my parents through the process of burying me. I should have had to explain to my niece that I didn’t have much longer to be with her. But God saved me from all of that. He covered me through it all. Yes I am thankful for his presence. Yes I cringe at the thought of being in those places where his presence cannot be felt. My heart hurts for those who are still there. For those who are looking in every place but the right place for the peace they need so desperately.